FREE Online Course in Mindfulness & Compassion
Day 19: On Forgiveness
Today we explore forgiveness. The importance of allowing yourself to feel the initial hurt to process it and then moving towards letting go and forgiving the other person. Holding onto anger, hate, resentment ultimately hurts you. A Chinese proverb - If you’re going to pursue revenge, you’d better dig two graves. Your resentments will destroy you.
Today your practice is RAIN on Forgiveness
2. Alternative Practice Sitting Meditation
1. Understand the Experience
The past experience is not actually here anymore. You are carrying around the thought and feeling associated with it. Like a bag full of stones, you don't have to keep carrying them. Explore what it is that hurt you and why. What need was not being met?
2. Understand the Other Person
If you find yourself jumping to blaming try move towards understanding the other person instead. What might it be like to be them? Can you imagine being behind their eyes?
3. Connect with your Deepest Self
Connect with your deepest highest self, the part of you filled with love, compassion and kindness. Take responsibility for your actions.
4. Learn to Let Go.
Sometimes we need to revisit a past hurt many times, slowly letting parts of the experience go, as if leaves falling from a tree. It may not all go with one intention to let go but may take many times revisiting it. As you do so it can lessen its hold over you.
5. Be Kind instead of Right.
It is more generous to be kind than right, so find ways to be kind. People behave the way they do for many reasons, mostly their own experience and their own dream. No one does anything because of you so try to see each person as a small child and what they do as their behaviour, not an attribute of their entire person.
6. Refrain from Judgement
As best you can be non-judgemental. When you stop judging others and yourself this brings inner peace and calmness. You become accepting of others and their very humanness. It is liberating!
7. Send LOVE
We are all love at our essence. It is impossible to be angry or filled with hatred if you are in a state of love. as best you can send love instead of judgements and criticisms. Particularly when you feel they block your joy and happiness.
Hold them in your heart with love.
Notice what happens when you stay with love.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Bring love to hate, light to darkness, and pardon to injury.