FREE Online Course in Mindfulness & Compassion
Day 18: On Grief, Living and Dying
Today we explore what it is to experience grief and loss. We also explore living and dying. We look at the grief cycle and how we can oscillate in that grief for some time. We also look at some of the teachings from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche and how to live well means we can die with greater peace.
Today your practice is either 1 or 2 below:
1. 'Funeral Exercise' from Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' including journalling what comes up for you afterwards.
This excerpt is from Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is a funeral exercise where you are encouraged to write your own eulogy. Begin with the end in mind and consider the impact you want to have on those around you. It imagines your funeral 3 years in the future and helps to explore what you can do now to help build positive relationships.
2. Alternative Practice Sitting Meditation
Preparing for the Death of a Loved One
Here are some questions also that might help with conversation starters
How are you feeling about your situation at the moment?
Are you finding this difficult?
You must be feeling a lot of emotions at the moment?
Is there anyone thing worrying you the most?
Do you feel frightened all the time or just sometimes?
Is there anything you want to talk about?
Is there anything that you want us to know?
Is there anything that helps you feel calm?
Four Things to Consider
Adapted from this article.
1. Please forgive me.
Forgiveness can be daunting. It’s natural to hesitate if you seek it, but once you ask for it, you’ll feel better. If you believe your loved one holds any grievances towards you, it will be of great relief to both of you to let those go. You can continue your life and they can conclude theirs knowing a past issue has been resolved.
2. I forgive you.
Offering forgiveness can be even more daunting than seeking it, but it will deliver great relief and renewal in the end. When you offer your forgiveness to a loved one, you give them a final gift of passing in peace.
3. I love you.
These three little words are so special. Everyone deserves to hear them, but so often we may go on without sharing them. Ask yourself when was the last time was that you said “I love you” to this person? No matter when it was, say it again. If ever there was a time to share these words, it’s now.
4. Thank you.
There’s a story told that an author once tried to copyright a book that would have the word “thanks” printed a million times, but couldn’t by law because “thank you” is a common use phrase. Let that serve as a reminder to use these words freely and often — they don’t cost anything! Sometimes it may be “Thank you for all that you taught me,” or “Thanks for taking care of me when I was in need,” or “Thank you for all that you are to me.” Whatever it may be, don’t wait.
Saying goodbye brings closure to a relationship. But sometimes it’s just too hard to say. In that case, consider saying, “Until we meet again.” It makes a huge difference. Saying this is a reminder that a loved one is never gone, but that they always remain in your heart. This will help you in your time of grief.
Finally, when it is near the end meditate near them and from your soul let them know you love them and that you are ready to release them from their body, ease their suffering and so that they can be at peace 🙏💗